…but you know what? I’m okay with that.
I’m sorry if you’re male, and you read my online profile, and if I put you off.
But I know what I want, or at least what my priorities are, and in certain cases, how I think I can get there.
And honestly, at least for me, it’s working. I’m connecting with more people just like me, or closer to it. The social pressure to tend one way or another is far lessened and there are stigmas I’m no longer afraid of.
I also don’t have a lot of time to waste in connecting or trying to connect and meet different people, especially with all my commitments. I’m lucky I can attend all the parties I can this semester, but even then since I have a lot in common with my cohorts, it’s a decent start.
I’m not right for everyone, but I’m sure I’m right for someone out there. It may not happen today or tomorrow…but I’m in no rush.
The social scene is a bit interesting, and even on a non-dating perspective, I am networking with other graduate students and business professionals. During my lull month of the semester, I’ve been fortunate enough to attend loads – and honestly I do mean loads – of parties, social and business functions with my peers, all in Rittenhouse. The business card dropping game is almost a sport at this point. But for many reasons I’m networking relentlessly and on multiple levels at that. My old peers from university and the running community in Center City, both sides of which I’ve continued to develop solid relationships and made some good friends.
As for dating, I’m learning to be patient with myself, and especially during a very busy yet delicate stage in my life, questioning whether I could be taking too much on. School, work, travel, training, and burgeoning family problems which will take their toll on me in the coming months. Could I possibly handle a relationship? Do I need one at this time? Operative words folks: at this time.
I’ll admit I’ve had several guys contact me both online and off and a couple of individuals wanted to get to know me better that already knew me in real life. Either way I do wonder. Admittedly I am not used to this, and for the online folks, I have had to look at their profiles more closely, and to my dismay, most of them generally haven’t been very compatible with me (in particular, most want to start families quite soon, whereas I am not looking to raise one, definitely not within the next three years if not ever). Obviously I’ve been pretty clear about my intentions in my profile, details and questions answered (on the sites where those apply) and unfortunately most of them aren’t reading what I’m looking for, at least the dealbreakers. Oh well.
The biggest thing I’ve been told is that if you are tending towards a childfree life, you’ve REALLY got to be open-minded, because in general, there are very few people period that do not want to have children, although I do get the sense more people are at least starting to rethink having them, particularly with the economy. This is of course, not to say that people shouldn’t have them, although I’m sure some will feel that way, but it is just I’m slowly feeling that motherhood is not the right path for my life.
Of course, there are other aspects of my life – the ones that make me happy – that I’ve put out there, that I know with my potential partner(s) it could be make or break. The biggest ones – being active (active physically or in the community) and a larger focus on career, particularly travel, although not to the extent I’d sacrifice additional time with my partner. If I had a partner who was just as active as I, that would make things a lot easier, but I’m not sure how many such individuals would also tolerate my crunched schedule on top of it.
After seven years of seclusion, it will just take some time to keep learning about myself and what flies with others and what doesn’t. It’s a frustrating process but it’s gotta be done.